


isn't it lovely, all alone (heart made of glass, my mind of stone)

by jisusngs (orphan_account)



Series: talk to me about the stars, and i promise to kiss you under the moonlight (make for me a soft universe) [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, also yes chensung, hyuck being hyuck, i actually wrote this instead of sleeping, i dont know where this came from, its a mess, its a scrap, mark being oblivious, slight angst i think, yes nomin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-05 01:38:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17315627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/jisusngs
Summary: mark nodded before smiling brightly. "i'll introduce you to my friends, i think you'll get along with them."during that lunch was the first time hyuck felt left out while being around his best friend, but he hated the idea of not knowing anyone, so he tried his best to let the feeling of loneliness settle in the pit of his stomach.





	isn't it lovely, all alone (heart made of glass, my mind of stone)

**Author's Note:**

> i dont know where this came from, and it was written at three in the morning, so excuse the grammatical mistakes and the incorrect use of english.
> 
> this was also slightly inspired by billie eilish's song with khalid, lovely. at least by the chorus, so maybe listen to that while reading whatever this is!

the first time mark and hyuck met was back in their first years of preschool. mark walked up to the younger, and asked about his iron man toy. they ended up talking, mark in broken korean and hyuck in stiff english, about marvel for a whole day. sitting next to eachother, and drawing whatever image came to their minds. mark would always compliment hyuck's sketches, laughing as his eyes glistened. he was happy. happy to have a friend as amazing as the younger boy. but they lost touch after that. never talked to eachother again for two years. mark moved away, the teacher had said. hyuck was devastated, he had just lost his only friend. the only person who had never laughed at him for wanting such an ambitious future.

the second time mark and hyuck met was on their first day at elementary school. mark walked past donghyuck, and instantly recognised the other. he turned back to look at him and instantly broke out into the widest grin, what he hadn't expected was hyuck to start crying as soon as mark called out his name. he didn't know how to react, he never knew how to comfort his friends. well, his friend. his only friend, the one crying before him. so he just wrapped his arms around him and welcomed the younger into his embrace. hyuck was ecstatic. 

they never lost touch after that, not even in juniour school, when people would look at them weirdly for holding hands in the hallways due to their age difference. not even when the boys from mark's class would yell homophobic slurrs at hyuck. not even when mark went to highschool and left hyuck alone. they would text every day before walking to school together, but they didn't eat together. mark didn't walk hyuck to his classes anymore. the younger was forced to be alone for a year, counting down the seconds until he would finally be with mark again.

 

freshman year. hyuck was nervous, he didn't know what mark was like around the friends he made there, which were quite a few. the honey haired boy's best friend would always gush about a boy, his name was renjun, and from what mark had told him, he was stunning. 

hyuck knew the dark haired boy felt something for his friend, and when mark started hanging out with him more during the summer, hyuck realised how much he needed mark in his life. maybe more than he thought, and it annoyed him. 

he hated the feeling in his chest whenever mark texted him, going on and on about his hang out with renjun. hyuck wondered if one day mark would realise how left out he was making him feel. but he never dared to speak up about it. 

he just brushed it off, trying his best to understand his best friend's point of view.

 

the first day of highschool rolled around and mark walked his best friend to school, like they always did. they already had a routine of doing things, eversince elementary, and they both promised no one would ever be able to get in the middle of their friendship. hyuck intended on keeping that promise, but he knew mark was already breaking it without realising.

"first day here duckie, how do you feel?" mark teased, his cheeks rising as he smiled lovingly at the younger boy who simply shrugged.

"give me until lunch break and then ill tell you, i haven't even walked in." hyuck retorted, a goofy smile spread out on his face. 

mark nodded before smiling brightly. "ill introduce you to my friends, i think you'll get along with them."

 

during that lunch was the first time hyuck felt left out while being around his best friend, but he hated the idea of not knowing anyone, so he tried his best to let the feeling of loneliness settle in the pit of his stomach. 

yet, the same feeling began to accustome itself to the younger boy. everytime mark dragged him to have lunch, and made hyuck sit with his friends, he felt even more alone. 

he wanted nothing but the day to end as quickly as possible, so he and mark could walk back together. but halfway through the school year, mark started making up excuses. every one of them having to do with renjun. it made hyuck feel little. made him feel fragile. almost broken.

 

during that summer, hyuck was only able to see mark once a week. he had a rough idea why, but he never imagined it would ever reach the point where mark invited renjun to his family getaway instead of him. he even received texts from mark's older sister, kari, apologising for her brother's unrational choices. but never got a sorry text from his best friend, only a couple messages updating him on his relationship with the chinese boy. 

the thing that shocked him the most was the news that mark hadn't even broken out to him, he had to stumble upon jaemin's instagram to find out. mark and renjun had been dating for almost four months. 

hyuck was sure he had never cried as hard. his mother barged into his room and had to get him to calm down. 

it was then he realised he had really lost his best friend.

 

sophomore year dawned upon the honey haired boy, and he decided to change his appearance. he dyed his hair a lighter shade of brown, started wearing the faintest makeup and would wear the prettiest coloured lenses to school. hyuck had also made two friends, chenle and jisung. they were a year below him, but were the funniest people to be around. 

he was glad he had found them, because he stopped eating with mark and his friends. stopped walking to school, or waking home with mark. stopped interacting with mark overall, and he was sure the older had forgotten all about him. he didn't even spare the younger a glance during lunch, wouldn't bother to walk up to him even when their lockers were next to eachother. 

hyuck had to pretend he was okay every time renjun placed his lips on mark's, leaving a gentle kiss before turing back to whatever conversation they were engrossed in before.

 

winter break rolled around rather quickly, and hyuck was beyond excited to finally be able to take some time away from school. 

he made plans with chenle and jisung to go out to his house in jeju and spent a week there, a week away from the busy streets of seoul and a week away from mark. 

hyuck knew he would see mark wherever he went, it was the way things had always been. they would always find eachother, no matter how hard they tried to run away. 

hyuck hated it, he hated it with a burning passion.

 

the current drive to jeju was filled with laughter, jokes being cracked here and there and a very noisy chenle screaming at the top of his lungs when his favourite kpop songs started playing. 

donghyuck hadn't felt as happy in such a long time, but the feeling of being away from mark left him anxious. 

when they first became friends, hyuck asked him if he believed in parallel universes, and mark answered with a shy yes. 

the younger then asked what the other hyuck's and mark's would be doing in the other universes, and mark laughed at that, not knowing how to answer. 

and even after so many years, mark still hadn't found an answer. 

but hyuck had.

he had come to realise he didn't like mark as just a friend, and it took a toll on him the first time he figured it out. he couldn't seem to understand why his heart always yearned for what he could never have, but he accepted it and had learned to live with no hope. 

but now that he thinks about the distance between him and the boy that once was his best friend, he realises that the hyuck's and mark's in the other universes would probably be look down at them with pitty.

in one universe they would be running around mark's summer house, laughing as the waves crashed against the shore. in another universe they would be staring up at jeju's waterfalls, as droplets of water fell upon their foreheads. in another universe they would be stargazing, wrapped around eachother in a warm embrace while tracing the constellations littering the inky sky. 

but in this universe, they were separated by a boy, and by kilometres.

 

hyuck sighed, looking out the car window as he let his thoughts wander for a bit. blocking out chenle's hysterical laughter at a dad joke jisung had read from a book.

 

they arrived at the house hours later, jisung and chenle both sleeping wrapped in eachother. hyuck was still awake, looking blankly at his phone and pondering if he should call mark or not. 

he couldn't seem to spend another day holding in the sadness he had, it was eating him alive and was holding him back from enjoying the break the way he should. 

so he found mark's contact and called him, inhaling sharply.

"do you believe in parallel universes, mark?" hyuck faintly said as soon as he felt mark start to talk on the otherside.

"donghyuck?" mark yawned out.

hyuck couldn't lie to himself anymore, he couldn't keep telling himself he was okay being away from mark when he clearly wasn't. 

he couldn't keep telling himself that seeing mark with renjun didn't bother him, when it obviously did. he couldn't tell himself that mark calling him by his full name didn't hurt him, when he knew perfectly well it did.

"do you believe in parallel universes, mark?" hyuck asked again, earning a little giggle from the other side.

"yeah... why are you calling me at three in the morning, duckie? is everything okay?" hyuck smiled at the nickname.

"what do you think the other mark's and hyuck's are doing right now? do you think they're looking at us and wondering what happened to us?"

"hyuck..." mark sighed.

"you still haven't found an answer." hyuck choked back a sob, readying himself for what he was going to say.

"i think they're looking at us with sorrow, wondering what happened to us. the golden duo, the inseparable best friends. but then, i also think they're living their own lives, maybe together as friends. because unlike us, they don't let anyone or anything get between their friendship.

i think they're disappointed in us, mark. and i am too. but you once told me that no matter what happens to us, we would always find eachother at the end of the day. you told me the universe would break and bend until it was able to make our paths cross again, until it was able to make sure we found eachother once more. do you still believe in that?"

"i do." mark whispered. 

"good, because i do too. i hope the universe will be able to make us reunite someday, mark. i really do hope so. i don't know how long i can go without talking to you." hyuck's bottom lip trembled. 

"hyuckie... what do you mean? what are you saying?"

"i love you, i hope one day ill be able to say that to you face to face." hyuck sobbed.

mark wanted to reply, but as soon as he heard hyuck utter those words his mind ran blank, didn't know what to say. and when the line went dead, he panicked. he started calling his best friend frantically, but it always went to voicemail. 

he was terrified and heartbroken, he didn't know how he could have been so selfish to the point of ignoring the person that had always been there for him since the beginning.

hyuck made sure to enjoy the days with jisung and chenle, and he had never felt so happy.

 

when they were forced to go back to school, mark waited for hyuck at his locker but he never came. he waited for him at lunch, but he never came. he did the same for a week, renjun kept asking him what happened but mark didn't have an answer. 

he wanted to find one, so he went to the principal's office, determined to find out what had happened to his best friend.

"he changed schools, mark. he moved down south somewhere. im sorry." mark broke down. 

he had lost his best friend, but he knew it was his fault.

 

a couple years later, mark had gotten scouted for sm entertainment and he couldn't be happier. 

him and renjun had broken it off mutually, and decided it was best if they remained friends, but he ended up helping his other two friends, jaemin and jeno get together after two years of mutual pinning. 

his life was enough, and the people he had in them is what made living worth it. but he still knew someone was missing, and that was his fault. 

it was his fault for letting him go like that.

 

the third time mark and hyuck met was when when mark walked into the audition room, noticing a familar tuff of honey hair practicing in the far corner. a spark of hope egnited within his chest, a part of him telling him that perhaps it was the boy he once called his best friend. 

he couldn't stop himself from making his way towards the other, curiosity taking over his rational thoughts.

"donghyuck?" he questioned.

the other boy instantly turned around, a grin etched out on his face as his eyes shimmered with unshed tears. with sadness, anger, happiness and pain. 

mark winced, but let a broken smile fall upon his sharp features.

"hey mark, i told you we would find eachother in the end."

the older boy looked at his best friend almost in disbelief, noticing how much he had grown and how unbelievably beautiful he had become over the time. 

he didn't know what to say, but his body acted faster. he threw his arms around hyuck and burried his face into the crook of his neck, tears welling up in his eyes.

"when you asked me about the other hyuck's and mark's living in the other universes, you know why i never replied?" mark looked up at donghyuck, his eyes glassy. the boy shook his head.

"because as long as i have you, those mark's and hyuck's don't matter to me."

**Author's Note:**

> this ending is actually so rushed


End file.
